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  • Despicable Me 3

    Despicable Me 3

    If it wasn't obvious, and for anyone who came across this review on the movie's page, I've been watching Illumination movies all weekend. This is the last one. My mind went to some dark places. All I see is yellow, all I hear is Pharrell, all I smell is fart.

    Closest thing I can compare the experience of this marathon to is Super Size Me. Nobody should do this. Not for views, not for goofs, not out of curiosity. It's…

  • Where'd You Go, Bernadette

    Where'd You Go, Bernadette

    ★★

    I wouldn’t say I hate this. But the more I try and defend it the more I realize this was such an ugly and rushed execution to what could have been something touching. Like what is the Kevin Macleod type score accomplishing? Who allowed those “documentary” scenes to go on for as long as they did? It’s different! It’s interesting! Kinda? But the HIDEOUS end credits sequence was really the final twist of the knife. That bottom centered “Directed by Richard Linklater” SCREAMED that even he wanted this movie to just wrap itself up. Is a shitty visual aesthetic enough to ruin a movie? Apparently!

  • A New Leaf

    A New Leaf

    ★★★★

    So funny. While this may be her directorial debut it feels like such a perfect bundle of everything I love about Elaine May. Hilarious, clever, a little sad, and different. So different. I'm not alone when I say for the hundredth time that May was way ahead of her time, but even if she was making movies today (which apparently she might be doing soon?) nobody could come close to replicating her work. Heavens!

  • Big Eyes

    Big Eyes

    ★★½

    Big Eyes more like Big Little Eyes?? Because of all the LIES in this movie??? And Amy Adams is also in Sharp Objects which is always in the “related” section of Big Little Lies??? There’s a joke somewhere in there.

    Talked about this on the podcast!

  • Beetlejuice

    Beetlejuice

    ★★★½

    Much better than I remember! First time I saw this was in 7th grade and all I remember about that experience was going “I can’t believe they’re playing 6 foot 7 foot by Lil Wayne!!”

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    ★★★★★

    The coolest part about this is that my room looks JUST like that. Seriously!

  • Scenes from a Marriage

    Scenes from a Marriage

    ★★★★½

    [theatrical version]

    Damn. Really wish I caught the 5 hour version first because I would have loved to sit and endure each and every detail of this relationship. Very rare for me to think something like that after spending nearly 3 hours with a movie that is entirely conversations, but Bergman's way of capturing the pain in these characters was too real to not feel completely immersed. Liv Ullmann has so much truth in her performance, specifically in the Paula chapter. Nothing captures the magic of the movies quite like divorce!

  • Night on Earth

    Night on Earth

    ★★★★½

    Rosie Perez is really good at saying “fuck you”

  • Cry-Baby

    Cry-Baby

    ★★★★

    Let me get this straight. NONE of you were gonna tell me there was a movie where Willem Dafoe spanks Johnny Depp’s ass and goes “It’s beddy-bye time” ???

  • Before Midnight

    Before Midnight

    ★★★½

    Jesse just needs to go sing “Being Alive” in a bar in NYC and call it a day

  • Before Sunset

    Before Sunset

    ★★★★★

    Will be talking about this more in my monthly watch vid and honestly maybe in it’s own vid someday so I won’t get TOO into it here.

    My heart was beating basically the entire time. Fury Road and this are equally as thrilling. Fuck it, I said what I said! Fifty percent of that is because of how all your morals slowly go out the door and you lose yourself in this absolute mess of a relationship. The question “is…

  • Election

    Election

    ★★★★★

    I don’t have a list of my favorite movie characters. Why would I? But if I DID, Paul would be at the top.